The game where cruise ships totally fight each other

Shipping summer

The year is 2042. Due to The Unfathomable Events of 2037, madness reigns across the cruise industry. The four remaining cruise lines now pursue market share through warfare. As a result, cruises are more popular than ever, because everyone is nuts (due to The Unfathomable Events of 2037)…

Now taking pre-orders

The limited edition first run of Bruise Cruise is now available for pre-order. Sign up for our newsletter to get a discount!


How to play

The "cruise" part: sail your fleet of cruise ships around the Caribbean, dock at various tourist traps, and return to your home port.

The "bruise" part: rival cruise lines are out to destroy your fleet via missiles, torpedoes, and maniacal passengers that love to brawl. Strike first!


The dumbest origin story

In March of 2019, I was among roughly 2,000 passengers aboard the JoCo Cruise, which sailed from Fort Lauderdale. Early one morning, we pulled into the port of Tortola, largest of the British Virgin Islands...

Fact #79: Tortola claims to be a Virgin Island Women's T-shirt Bruise Cruise Navy: Barnacle Fact #6: New Orleans Skulls Unisex Premium T-Shirt Fact #79: Tortola claims to be a Virgin Island Glossy Mug Fact #15: Tampa Humid Unisex Premium T-Shirt

Support us

The best way to support is by joining the Bruise Cruise Navy. Or you can purchase the limited-run first edition of Bruise Cruise and tell everyone about it. Better yet, put your body to good use by advertising Bruise Cruise with some high-quality apparel.


deep dive