Bruise Cruise Navy

Our goal is to see Bruise Cruise on as many flat surfaces as possible. By joining any contribution level of the Bruise Cruise Navy, you ensure that 100% of your contribution will go directly toward this goal.

Barnacle

BECOME A BARNACLE

Passenger ($10)

Oh no! You thought you had snuck into the 2020 Superbowl in Miami, but it’s actually just a cruise ship departing for Puerto Rico. Might as well make the best of it. You get:

Bruise Cruise Navy certificate PDF 

17”x11” PDF of the Bruise Cruise board

BECOME A PASSENGER

Bartender ($25)

Well la-dee-da! You got a job on the ship! Bartender level gets you:

Bruise Cruise Navy certificate PDF

17”x11” PDF of the Bruise Cruise board 

Bruise Cruise bumper sticker you can slap on your car, laptop, or other vessel 

BECOME A BARTENDER

Cruise Director ($50)

And now you’ve been promoted! You deserve some recognition on our site. And you’re going to need a luggage tag. Includes:

Bruise Cruise Navy certificate PDF

17”x11” PDF of the Bruise Cruise board 

Bruise Cruise luggage tag 

Your name in the credits on our website

BECOME A CRUISE DIRECTOR

Purser ($100)

Unclear how you’re moving up the ranks so quickly, but we’re not here to ask questions. The purser is responsible for a cruise ship’s finances, so we assume you’re able to get your hands on $100. Again, no questions from us. Take home:

Bruise Cruise Navy certificate PDF

17”x11” PDF of the Bruise Cruise board 

Bruise Cruise luggage tag 

Your name in the credits on our website 

Mug that tells people you’ve joined a fake navy

BECOME A PURSER

Captain ($175)

You’ve managed to bribe your way onto the bridge. Now you are responsible for all of the idiots on this cruise ship. Stuff includes:

Bruise Cruise Navy certificate PDF

17”x11” PDF of the Bruise Cruise board 

Bruise Cruise luggage tag 

Your name in the credits on our website 

Mug that tells people you’ve joined a fake navy

BECOME A CAPTAIN

Admiral ($250)

Congratulations on your shockingly quick rise to Admiral. In the Bruise Cruise Navy, becoming an Admiral is as easy as becoming a citizen of Antigua and Barbuda (and way less expensive). Here are your rewards:

Bruise Cruise Navy certificate PDF

17”x11” PDF of the Bruise Cruise board 

Bruise Cruise luggage tag 

Your name in the credits on our website 

Mug that tells people you’ve joined a fake navy

First edition of Bruise Cruise: The Game signed by the creators

BECOME AN ADMIRAL